Confessions

I am thinking about this one moment
You held me in your arms
We were in the kitchen of someone else’s apartment
The day after
a stolen all-nighter for two kids in love
so we thought
And I was pretending to be an adult.
(In fact, I think I was pretending to be my mother
although I did not know it at the time)
I watched the words come out of my mouth like typewritten directions
written for how to have an exciting life
Only my life with you was only exciting in
the worst imaginable ways
I said something about how we should make sure
to have sex every day
Only even then it was more trying to talk myself into it
than wanting it already
(With you, I mean, with you.)