In Bed Alone

This is what I found after I thought I had found myself:

Questions and they

did not seem to have answers but that did not stop

me from asking them

and driving myself crazy so that I

despaired of all I had learned and all I had

accomplished over the past couple years of hard

core learning but anyway

when the sun is shining I am ok and that is almost all
I want except at night when I am lying

in bed and I am all

by myself and I am perfect-

ly comfortable but nevertheless I am still aware

of the emptiness around me which is

as far as I can tell
the empty form
of a man

(and I don't mean God,
as though God
could take the place of

a man)

the chemical compound created by us would fill up
my bed and would spill over and flood the room and the house and the yard and

the fields in back and the world beyond and shoot into eternity and we would be

happy together in spite of and maybe even because of
all the things that may have once

irritated us about someone else but now

have transformed into nothing more and nothing less than

idiosyncracies of perfection.