Un Poeme Seulement

And there you were
again.  That same you only
better somehow, mostly
because I was so vastly
improved deep
inside myself.  (Trouble.  It
had been so much
trouble, this pushing
through the dark, tangled
woven branches of time.)  
[Say
I had a sword of flashing
gold.  
Say
I brandished it
expertly.  
Say
I made wide
swaths on my way into
and out of the
haunted forest.  
Say I was bold, say it was
easy, say I was without
fear at all.]  
All lies.
I was alone.
I faltered and fell;
I stumbled to my feet.  
I was courageous on my own.  
Surely I was defended
by invisible
warriors, multitudes surrounding me,
defeating the darkness of my history and fears.  
Celestial victory
borne of travail and purpose, no
laurels on my head,
and 
yet. Here I am
at rest, accepting, now
quiet, trusting, hope pushing
up through newly fertile soil.  And there
you were, my blurry vision
gone, finally seeing who had
been there all along.  Sovereign
welcome to see more deeply who
you are.  My gaze,
unafraid and tender, beheld
the man.  Now more real,
more imperfect, more
blithely unaware.  Now your presence
less powerful, your essence more
fragile.  I move to reach across the veil
into the mystery of God’s mercy and
grace and I draw its sheltering
fabric around your soul.   I shall tuck
you into peace.  I see
no conqueror, only my beloved,
another pilgrim on earth.  The crack
opens wider and beauty spills out.
We are wonderfully and sadly human,
always have been, and
limited by what is in
our power to change.  Precious
life indeed.  Fleeting journey through
what is into the utter unknown of
what shall be.  I am courageous
and alive; your cheek against mine,
quiet friction of eternity.  This time
no shame, no apology, no fear, no sword.
Only love, unfiltered and expressed.