Sailors and Slaves

Invisible chains

have linked me to you

and I don't think you can see them or even know they're there.

I have felt them even in your absence,

maybe especially in your absence

and in mine.

Invisible ties that bind me to you

that I will not allow to be undone

even if they burn my wrists and hurt me when I write.

When no one else is looking,

I reach down and make certain they are snug,

I draw the chain closer, tie the knot tighter.

While you are busy undoing other knots,

I am busy studying sailor knots and boy scout knots

so that I can tie mine even better than they are.

But here is what I want to say—

If one day you find out that the knots are there,

and I am chained to you and you are chained to me,

I hope you will pretend you didn't see them,

and then, when I am not looking,

tie them tighter

and look up again and smile.

(From Autumn 2008)