growing up

all those times I raged
against what was
oh god what did i know of loss
until the loss became the whole
of me and i had to look for
what was left after all the
flames had died away
all the sorting through
the ashes and the past
to poke around and see
if a phoenix would arise
years ago i put my tooth
under my pillow
awoke in the morning to find
that the tooth fairy had come
no sparkling wings appear
to give me gold for loss
i dig my way to redemption