Entropy of the Self

I told becky that I had been thinking of
Entropy of the self
(what is going on in that mind of mine)
And she stopped
And looked
At me
Quickly quizzically laughingly
(and pulled her chair up next to mine and said one word
STRATTERA)
Because I am sure
She wonders from time to time
If I have
Lost it
And I said no listen
(serious)
And then I explained what I meant
(I said entropy is not turning into nothing really;
In the universe entropy is when all matter breaks down
From specific entities to a cosmos of homogeneous content
To where it is only the subatomic particles separated out so
That everything is all the same as each other and
When I say entropy of the self I mean
That all the specifics that make me who I am
End up breaking down so that I become
Less specific and more like the universe
after entropy has had its way)
and she said
You are talking about balance
And I said I don’t know if it is balance
As much as it is a losing of the things that define us
And a blending into all there is.