Claude Rains Appeared Briefly

Although I have not traveled as much as I would have liked
and although I do hope to change that
for as long as I have left here on Planet Earth
I will confess, nonetheless, that I have been
to hell and back.


It was not a lovely trip;
I did not put stickers on my suitcase.
I traveled lightly, in fact,
wearing the sheerest of souls
and good shoes.


Lucky for me, there had been no inkling
of the years I would languish in
such a desolate and miserable place.
Lucky me to have not been forewarned
or I may never have gone at all.


A trip to hell and back is a great
conversation topic at cocktail parties.
People will flock to you, drinks in hand,
while you offer them a vicarious voyage
punctuated by hors d’oeuvres and laughter.